Why is it so important for my child to get enough sleep?

So you may not mind waking up at night for the night time feed because it doesn't take too long for baby to nurse and then fall back to sleep. You wouldn't want to change anything just in case he starts waking up more frequently. But what if I tell you that your 7 month old baby doesn't actually need to wake up for those night time feeds anymore? Would you be able to stop the night time feeds altogether?

Why is it so important that your child learn to sleep through the night and have a good long consolidated sleep without any disruption?

Maybe you’re still a little unsure whether or not my sleep consultation is right for you. That’s perfectly normal. After all, you’ll be making changes to your child’s sleep routine, and you want to be sure you’re doing the right thing!

I just want to share one truth that I learned when I first started this journey of sleep training. The truth is sleep is incredibly important for our children – no matter how old they are! Doctors agree that healthy sleep habits are just as important as a diet and exercise – and some argue it’s even more important.
So why is it that some parents are so concerned about giving their children a healthy diet but when it comes to sleep, they are a bit lax about it?

Here are some facts I found about the importance of sleep for our children.

• Children who sleep longer have higher IQs. (Sleep Med, March 2010)
• Boys who sleep well are at a significantly lower risk for hyperactivity. Sleep deprivation and ADHD  are both overlapping problems. (Pediatrics, November 2009)
• Children who sleep well score higher on all kinds of tests, including math and literacy. (SLEEP Abstract, 2010)
• Babies who sleep well at night consistently perform better on tests designed to assess memory, emotional control, and organization. (Child Development, Nov/Dec 2010)

Based on the scientific studies and our common sense, we can agree that sleep is really, REALLY important for your child not just for you! If your child is not taught the necessary skills to sleep well, you’re putting them at a dramatically increased risk for the things that all parents want to avoid!

I’m not saying this to scare you… I’m just really passionate about how important sleep is for kids – and I think it’s our job as parents to give our children every advantage we can! I do practice what I preach and seeing my children having enough sleep from a young age and waking up feeling refreshed, energetic and happy, that's the best gift I have given to my children since they were babies.

I really believe my sleep program will be able to teach your child these skills quickly and easily, so I hope you will give me a call or email me and give it a go. My success stories so far speak for itself on how effective my program is.

Top 5 Mistakes Parents Make about Sleeping (me included!)

These are common mistakes parents make about their child sleeping and I made the same mistake too with my babies when I was a new parent. Click on the link below to find out more!

http://sgsupernanny.com/top-5-mistakes-parents-make-about-baby-sleeping-sleep-mistakes-baby-how-to-get-baby-to-sleep/

Can sleep deprivation ruin relationships?

"I have no doubt that sleepless nights can bring out the ugly in parents. We have shorter fuses when we are exhausted, and it's completely natural to feel resentful if a partner pretends to (or really does!) sleep through the little night howls."

If you and your partner are exhausted from night wakings or fighting a lot more due to sleep deprivation, then it's time to get help. It might even be that you find that you don't have time to spend with your older children anymore. Contact me now for a free 15 minute sleep assessment to find out if you can use the assistance and guidance of a baby sleep training expert. You will be glad that you did so, because in just a few days, you and your family will be well rested again.

http://www.essentialmums.co.nz/mums-life/relationships/8469722/Can-sleep-deprivation-ruin-a-relationship

What do you do with your children when you are out dining at a restaurant?

A mother was asking me yesterday to share what I did with my kids when they are out at a restaurant because she has two very active kids. This was my reply.

Oirene, I was in your position too with my twins and I was also guilty of just opting for the easy way out by offering them gadgets especially when they were around the 2-3 years age. But soon I realised that wasn't healthy as they always expected gadgets as soon as we sat down at a restaurant. Once they could understand consequences well, I told them there would be no gadgets as we want to spend time together as a family, talking and getting to know each other better. If you have younger children, then I suggest you bring colouring or sticker books along, or just any toys, puzzles or Legos that will keep them occupied without resorting to them playing iPad. My twins now no longer ask for gadgets when we go out. The only time I give them gadgets to play is when we are out with friends and we just want them to occupy themselves while we entertain our friends. But even then I would set a time limit and get them to self entertain before they resort right away to gadgets. I also do point out to my kids whenever we go out, how many tables of families with children who are all looking and playing their gadgets and not even looking at each other at all or spending time with one another. I think that is just such a sad sight, don't you think? Call me old school, but I just remembered those fond memories of families eating together and chit chatting and laughing with one another. That is what I called Quality Time.

I think as parents we need to set good examples to our children first before they can model our behavior. I know it's tempting to use the gadgets as our electronic sitters while we do our adults' stuff, but we got to learn to cherish the time we spend together as a family. Because that's what counts at the end of the day. Our family.

Why we all need more sleep?

Researchers from the University of California, Berkeley have revealed that couples who regularly get a full night’s sleep are more likely to have positive, successful relationships. 

It's important that we tackle all these sleep problems early and nip them in the bud before the situation gets worse. If you are sleep deprived, please get help now. 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/9823934/Why-we-all-need-more-sleep.html

My thoughts on baby sleep training

I have met many parents over the years and while many agrees with sleep training, some are a bit hesitant. The question I always get asked is this:

Does it involve crying? 

To which I have to answer, yes because that is the only way baby knows how to communicate with us. 

Why do some parents shudder at the thought of sleep training?

Does the thought of their baby crying make them feel like bad parents?

Do they already feel like bad parents because their baby isn't sleeping?

There are so many methods of training baby to sleep out there and they all involve some degree of crying. Why? Because like I said before your baby will object to the new routine you are implementing and the only way she will be able to communicate her objection is through crying. Let's face it, no one like changes at first, but after a while you will learn to adapt.

Before I help my clients start their sleep training, I look at the overall picture first. Remember, sleep training is only one piece of the puzzles. Before sleep training can be implemented, we need to assess other pieces of the puzzles.

I believe that when sleep training is implemented on a healthy baby, loving and caring environment overseen by the parents, baby will be able to learn to sleep well and through the night in no time at all.
It's much better to let your baby learn the week long sleep training programme through some degree of crying than endure months of sleepless nights which would result in overtired babies and exhausted parents!

Contact me now if you want your sleep back and ultimately a good night rest for you and your baby. Every night. 

Why is self settling important?

When I was living in New Zealand, a lot of parents I met talked about self settling and how important it is for a baby to learn to self settle. In fact I must admit, self settling was one of the best things I did raising up my twins.

In Asia or more specifically Malaysia and Singapore, I realised that this is not such a popular notion here. Parents here tend to want to carry or rock their baby to sleep instead of implementing self settling method.

But why is self settling so important? Why should you bother with teaching your baby to self settle? Why not just keep feeding them or rock them till they sleep?

Well if you are happy with the amount of sleep you and your baby have, then I guess self settling isn't important.

But if your baby needs more sleep during the night, and you find him or her catnapping a lot and just seem rather tired and fractious during the day, then perhaps learning to self settle is the key solution to your problems. 

Your baby may not feel the direct effects of sleep deprivation, but what about you? Are your physical and mental health suffering due to lack of sleep? Sleep deprivation will make life with a baby much more stressful than they are and it can impact your relationships, your marriage, your work, your outlook and enjoyment of life with your child.

So don't delay anymore. Get your baby to learn self settling technique from young as you know it gets harder as they grow up. If you need any help and guidance in this, please contact me, happy to help you, your family and your baby get that sleep that you all deserved!

You will be surprised at how quickly your baby will learn to resettle himself once you learn the technique and stick with it consistently.

Why do we need parenting coaching?

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world and yet as parents we are not given any manuals and guidelines when we bring our baby home from the hospital. There are neither classes nor schools for parents to attend or graduate from.

Parenting is certainly no sport for the weak. The games are packed with obstacles and challenges that you may not be familiar with. Just like in sports, from badminton to swimming, you wouldn't dream of excelling without a coach. Parent coaching like all other coaching helps by letting you see your potential when you are feeling lost and hopeless. A coach helps by seeing the desired results, plan with you the steps towards your success and patiently reminding you of those steps.

Many of my clients have engaged me for help because they simply want someone who can walk with them shoulder to shoulder in their struggles with their parenting journey. Sometimes just getting someone from the outside looking in is all you need to create a new perspective and to help you see things from a different angle altogether. I always remind my clients that they are the expert of their own family. We simply co-create the future together. Think of parenting coach as a trusted family member with the top-notch know-how.

Being a parent myself, I know how big and scary this role of a lifetime can be. We all just want to get it right. But everyone's "right" is different. I believe there is no one right way of doing things. Otherwise our parents' approach of bringing us up would have been passed down from generation after generation. Parenting is about change and growth - ours and our children's.  There is no easy and simple formula. It's about knowledge, flexibility, teachability and hard work. If that's how you see it too, then parenting coaching may be right for you.

Contact me now for a parenting coaching session and you will be glad that you have taken the first step to feeling more confident and empowered in your parenting journey.

Effective Communication

It's been a while since I last posted. Life has been rather busy with 3 sick and vomiting kids, parenting talks and coaching sessions. I would like to share with you a topic that I recently shared with parents at a primary school.

To have an effective communication with your child, first you gotta have good listening skills. What's a good listening skills?

Well you need to use active listening skills when your child starts communicating with you. What is active listening skill? Active listening skills is when you encourage your child to express himself verbally without influencing him with your own preconceived notions or opinions. 

Your child will get to express himself while you just simply listen without forming any opinions. It does require a lot of practice and patience to be good at this, but I do hope you will try it out. Your child would then be able to share more with you without fearing about what you may judge or think. 

Why sleep is so important to you as parents?

Are you at your wit's end and do not know what to do about your sleep situation? Or more specifically are you pulling your hair out wondering how to get your baby to sleep so you too can have a restful night? Are you feeling isolated and frustrated? Well the truth is you are not alone. Millions of parents around the world are experiencing sleep issues with their children.

You Need Sleep

Let me be clear with you. You aren't superheroes. You're human. And humans like you and I need our sleep to function well. Here's what prolonged lack of sleep can do to you:

• Forgetfulness - you forgot where you parked the car, did you remember to lock the door
• Depressed - you have emotional crying spells, overwhelmed and possibly even feeling resentful towards your child
• Trapped - you feel unable to leave your child, unable to put your baby down. You have not been out to enjoy a special night out with your husband or your friends. You feel isolated and alone and no one seems to understand what you are going through
• Low Confidence - you regularly feel like you don't know what to do, you get confused by things you have read on the Internet. You are overwhelmed by fear and anxiety.
• Short-fused - your temper flared up easily, you can't control your anger
• Relationship issues - you feel as though there is a wedge between you and your husband, you don't agree on anything anymore

It's hard to be effective as parents if you are exhausted. I was once in your situation. I felt like a zombie not having any sleep at all during the night. But once I managed to sleep train my children, everything changed for the better. You will see a huge difference in your confidence and your outlook once you can sleep train your child well so you too can get that much needed sleep.

Why Kids Need Routine (even babies)

When my twins came into my world, I didn't know what to expect. My life was turned upside down as all of a sudden, I have these two tiny little angels, looking to me, depending on me to care for them 24/7. I knew I have to establish a routine in order for me to get both babies feeding and sleeping at the same time.

So why do our children or our babies need a routine? 

Because routines give them a sense of security and it would help them develop self-discipline. Yes even babies need routine so that they feel secured knowing what to expect next. Some of you may think, I don't have a routine, why should my kids have a routine? Well, even when you think your life doesn't have a routine, you actually do. You wake up, brush your teeth and have your breakfast every morning. That's a routine on its own.

• Routines help kids learn to be independent - Over time, kids learn to feed themselves, shower themselves etc without constant reminders. Kids love being in charge and feeling that they are capable. Kids who feel more independent and be in charge feel less need to be rebellious and misbehaved thus eliminating the power struggles between them and their parents.
• Routines help kids to cooperate as they know what to expect next and don't feel like they have been pushed around
• Regular routines help kids to be on a daily schedule that would help achieve a good sleeping habit and fall asleep easily at night.
• Schedules help parents maintain a healthy expectations for everyone in the family and develop healthy habits in order to run a smooth household.

If you want to get your kids on a routine, don't delay anymore.  The sooner you start, the earlier they will get on board with the idea of routines in their life.

Does your child sleep early?

When I came back to Asia, I still remember how shocked I was to see babies and little toddlers still awake past 10pm at supermarkets, restaurants and malls. Some parents even bring their little children to watch late night movies at the cinemas!

I often wondered, "What time do they sleep? Don't their parents mind about it? In the western countries, this is almost unheard of as children go to bed early and this is common practice among all families. Living in Asia has not changed my routine for my children, my little toddler goes to bed at 8pm every night while my 7 years olds sleep at 9pm.

Some of you may ask, there is no harm for my child to sleep later, right? 

Your babies and children need ample amount of sleep everyday for their general well being. Just like adults, they need enough rest to function properly physically and mentally during the day. Lack of sleep caused them to be cranky, overtired and feeling lethargic.

How much sleep do our children need?
Babies need about 14-16 hours of sleep. Kindergarteners need about 10-12.5 hours of sleep each night with naps declining and disappearing usually by the age of 5. Primary school aged kids need 9.5-11.5 hours of sleep per night.

By fixing enough sleep and rhythm in your children's life, the children's yet-to-be-developed body will grow healthily and makes them more alert. The children's life rhythm start to develop from the age of 4 months and complete by the age of 5~6 years old. Babies and children are not able to adjust their life's rhythm on their own, only we parents can help them do that. That is why it is so important to get your children on a good sleep routine.

If you are concern about your children's physical, brain and emotional growth development, please review their sleeping habits first. No amount of enrichment classes or tuitions will help your child's development if they are not getting enough sleep. Good sleeping habits is the key to their physical and mental development.